I ❤ the word “No”!

Weird right?  For most people, “NO” is this DNA-wired painful event. We’ve been conditioned to associate the word with most of the worst events we’ve ever experienced. The time your crush rejected you, that day the teacher gave you a worse grade than you deserved, the feeling you got when a parent crushed a hope you had- it sucks right?

“YES” – it does- and here’s why: truer words have rarely ever been spoken then “Ask and Ye Shall Recieve”! Think about it- the people you share the planet with have all the resources, ideas, support & answers you need to do the things that would be impossible alone. But how are you supposed to ask the questions that allow you to quantum leap towards your goal if you’re constantly ducking the possibility of a “No”?

Welcome to why most people just can’t get ahead.

“You know, successful negotiation is not about getting to yes, it’s about mastering no and understanding what the path to an agreement is.” -Chris Voss

But how would it change your life if we told you- you only “hate” no because of the meaning you attach to it. “No” is actually awesome because it’s the closest you can get to a “Yes” without actually winning. Also, helping them let out a strong “No” means they now feel in control. Pretty cool.  But the best news is, the meanings most usually link with the word is usually not even what that person saying it means! So, instead of imagining that “NO” is the pre-cursor to someone fire-bombing your HOME or something listen for what they really mean and make sure you consider:

THE 4 TRUE meanings of “NO”! (and how to handle each)…

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“But why would I feel sad? I just lost someone who didn’t love me, THEY lost someone who did”.

1)NOT YOU- sometimes the person isn’t rejecting your idea- they just can’t get past the judgement they’re casting on your outfit, hairstyle, education level or maybe your use of the ‘kings english’. It could be that you remind them of an “ex”. Maybe they don’t like how you greeted them. The point is- it’s NOT your fault.

Solution: …except it is (kind of). Introduce them to someone else! People respect strangers more than people they know (weird, I know). Remember, you can’t brag on yourself nearly as convincingly as you can brag on someone ELSE. Leverage that.

2)NOT YET- other times the person is really saying (or not saying) the timing just isn’t comfortable for them. This could be because of a bad mood, or it could be because of a great moment in some area of their life- maybe they’re just really busy.

Solution: Follow up. Follow up. Follow up. We’ll share our specific techniques on this later but if you find them to have serious potential and you know one cardinal rule, this type of rejection can’t affect you, the rule is: EVERY DAY THINGS CHANGE. Someone could’ve gotten fired. Someone could’ve gotten pregnant. Someone could’ve gotten a new, bigger dream they can’t yet afford. Your prospect could have even read a book or overheard a conversation that changed their mind. You never- and I mean never know. So never quit.

"Im sure I didn't hear you my good man, come again?"

“Im sure I didn’t hear you my good man, come again?”

3)I DON’T UNDERSTAND- have you ever heard a song for the fifth time and still found yourself hearing lyrics you never heard before? That’s because last time it played your mind was still on the 3rd line while the 4th, 5th and sixth kept coming. Well sometimes your “pitch” is getting sporadically listened to the SAME way. They just don’t understand (yet).

Solution: Listen (&really that’s ALWAYS the method that reveals the most solutions). It’s ESP relevant for this particular speed bump though because you need to understand what you need to further educate (or have them educated) on. “How” and “What” questions are awesome because they make the person feel in control.

Life as a thick-skinned rhino is much easier when they think they're in control.

Life as a thick-skinned rhino is much easier when they think they’re in control.

4)I DON’T THINK I CAN or WANT TO- one amazing thing about the human mind is that if you think you have power, even if you don’t- you do. But if you think you don’t  have power, even if you do- you DON’T. Expectation almost always births experience in these situations. Many times people aren’t rejecting your concept, they’re rejecting the workload they imagine it comes with.

Solution: Again- introduce them to someone else! I get it- you’re passionate. You love what you do and can’t understand why EVERYONE doesn’t. Well let me take this time to explain the RainMaker Rule™ “Treat Others How THEY Want To Be Treated”. You don’t make it look very “sexy” with all your passionate yelling explaining while the veins pop in your neck and forehead and your eyes turn bloodshot from the pressure. They don’t want any. Doesn’t look fun. Your job then, is to keep yourself able to use one of the most powerful ‘lines’ in the whole world of networking entrepreneurship: “All I did was put you on the phone with someone- I made THEM do all the work, wasn’t that simple?”

Yes, yes it was.

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Mr Haziq Ali, Chief Creative Officer of WeAreMillionaireMinded.com has been the top recruiter in every organization he’s ever been involved with, became an equity partner after less than a year in the industry and even hit the top of his latest projects’ compensation plan in just 24 days. Teaching is his passion.

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